Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Help a Sister out, would ya?

Well first of all, I know I've been MIA for a real long time, and I'm sorry.  Trust me, I have ALL. KINDS. OF. BLOG. POSTS running through my head constantly but most just never make it to the keyboard, errr screen, errr blog, whatever...you know what I mean.
So my first question to you, my lovely reader, is this:
How on earth do I fit it all in?
I know a lot of us in bloggy world are Wives and/or Moms; some work full time in addition to those first two jobs, some of us are overrun are overwhelmed have our hands full enough with those first two jobs.  And some, like me, also have other hobbies and income options.  It might be photography or home parties of some sort, or maybe you make your own crafts; whichever it is for you, how do you find time without feeling as if something else is neglected?
I have had the same home based business for 7 1/2 years. The exact same amount of time I have been a Mom, by the way.  So I guess this stressed, panicked mode I go into when I'm up against a deadline is sort of my norm.
I'm not used to it.
I'm not sure I'll ever get used to it.
After all that time, I have a fairly large team to support along with a personal business encompassing at least 1500 past customers and hostesses.  Ya'll? It keeps me really busy!
I mean, really, there is so much more I wish I could be doing to provide these people with excellent customer service and the truth is, I just can't find the time for everything. The whole point of this business for me was flexibility and the ABILITY to put my family and their needs first.
BUT, like any business, we all know if you don't work, you don't get paid :-)

I have tried to organize my time as much as possible.  I really make an effort to NOT be online and working while the kids are here (that one's not going so well for me currently).  I make an effort TO WORK when the kids are sleeping or in school, but since I have a 3 year old who only attends preschool 2 half-days, that's a whopping 6 daytime hours a week!

Short of hiring a maid, which is probably not in my budget right now, I can't see the light at the end of my laundry pile tunnel.

Any advice?

Secondly, I've had a lot of issues come my way recently concerning friendships.  I tend to look at these things, not as coincidences, but rather as a wake up call.  Maybe a "head's up"for something to come or an opportunity to learn a lesson myself or help my kids with one.
As a matter of fact, Sweetpea, had a friend incident at school this week.  Long story short, a little mean girl (I'll call her Justine) from Sweetpea's class last year, had my baby girl in tears when I picked her up from school yesterday.  It seems Justine found a special rock on the playground and wanted to keep it, but when she let Sweetpea hold it, Sweetpea dropped it and it got lost in the mix on the ground.  Obviously, it was an accident and my baby felt terrible about it.  I know she apologized profusely, even though it didn't help her case with Justine.
But that's not the part that bothers me.
What bothers me is Sweetpea was practically begging this girl to still be her friend.  She cried in the car re-telling me the story.  I quote, "Justine is such a good friend when she isn't mad at me."
I told her "Baby, those two things don't match!  A 'good friend' is always your friend even if you have a disagreement; she isn't constantly mad at you for something! You don't need friends like that!"
That's when I heard the tell-tell-impending-doom-movie music in my head. You know the dum-dum-dum ?
If only life and friendship were that black and white, right?
I absolutely want to be that friend; the best one you've ever had.  The one who is forgiving when you said something hurtful; the one who reaches out to you and offers an apology for my part in whatever happened even if I really don't think I did anything wrong.  I want to be the kind of friend, I'd like to have...dependable, honest, inspirational, caring, sacrificial, etc., etc., etc.
Then pride comes into the picture; or at least I think it's pride. Maybe it's self-respect? At any rate, it's confusing...
Where do you draw the line between being that great loving friend, and saying, "enough is enough!"
No one wants to go through life or a relationship feeling as if the whole thing is one-sided; constantly giving but getting nothing in return.  How can you continue to be friends with someone you must walk on eggshells around for fear of offending them yet again? How many times can a friend shove your desire to help back in your face or be blatantly ungrateful for you and what you've done for them in the past?
Please don't get me wrong! I am, in no way, implying there is a "score-card" to friendship! But I think you all know what I mean here.  We've all had that friend who one day seems to forget the relationship works both ways and that it is ideally an equal give and take.
How do you decide?
When do you say "whatever" and move on, even if losing that friend hurts like crazy?