Friday, February 3, 2012

High School - Revisited...Ugghhh!

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In an effort to get back on the "blogging wagon" I thought I would participate in the writing prompts for the first time in forever!

Of the options, I chose:

What were you like in High School?

This question, when first read, elicits a groan...maybe an eye roll or two...and eventually a deep breath!

I am one of those people who looks back on a lot of my childhood and adolescence with no small amount of regret.

And you know what? I'm coming to terms with that in a lot of ways. 

I know I just need to let myself off the hook!

God made me who I am for a reason.  And, for some reason, I have always held myself to some insane standard of perfection and beaten myself up over every mistake.

But, I'm working on it!

Back to the question about high school...

Here are some things about me in HS:

1.) Not popular, but not an outcast either.

2.) Good student; focused and with good grades. I was, and still am for the most part, a responsible person.

3.) Teachers liked me (a least I think they did).  Some people might call me an "old soul." I always tended to worry about things more serious than the average HS aged girl did. 

4.) I never went long without a boyfriend (there are lots of problems with this fact)

5.) I was VERY involved...I did a little of everything: Air Force ROTC, Marching Band, Choir, foreign language, Drama Club, Drama Productions, 4 Spring Musicals...and somehow managed to work a part-time job for at least 2 of those years. Not to mention being active in church youth group and attending both church and academic camps in the summers. 

So there are the reasons (mostly) why I wouldn't want to go back and do HS over again!

Yes there is a mixture of positive things and challenging things there, but in the recent past, I have learned that all life experiences (good and bad) form us into the person we are today.  If you went back and just changed one tiny thing, it could alter the entire course of your life!

Do I wish I had spent more time by myself figuring out who I was rather than depending on the approval of others (mostly boys) - ABSOLUTELY!

Do I wish I had appreciated the ability to do so much with my time and be so well-rounded back then? FOR CERTAIN!

Did I take advantage of a great memory and near perfect recall that helped me test well and get good grades? UNDERSTATEMENT of my life (and I learned that lesson first semester Freshman year - trust me)!

BUT, I think every one of these situations made me who I am and helped me become a stronger person.

I also see a lot of myself in my daughter who isn't even 8 years old yet.  If there is anything I know about guiding and helping others, having lived the experience oneself is certainly a great foundation for helping someone else through the same.

So, while I don't look back on "High-School-Me" with ALL fond memories, and I pick at myself about dumb mistakes I made, in general, I can now think of the experience as a whole.  The good and the bad together as one collective growing period.  

And isn't that what HS is meant to be?

What were you like in HS?

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