Saturday, April 19, 2014

Springing Forth

I haven't written in a long time and I've missed my time away from this space. 

It's such a weird paradox, both wanting people to read what I write and yet freaking out when they do!

Part of me wants to be read - to be validated.  I want people to comment and interact with me.  To tell me if something I've shared was of benefit to them.

On the other hand, I started this whole process for myself, as sort of a journal.  I would never want someone I write about to be hurt or offended by something I said.

Like I said - such a strange paradox.  My journey to be more real and authentic is supposed to help me and potentially others, so I just want to make sure the opposite doesn't happen.

A very smart blogger friend told me before I started my blog, something like this: "it's easy to get caught up in the comments.  To yearn for that validation or to be hurt by criticism."

She was so right!

After I had been writing for awhile, it also became about accountability for me.
I was striving for authenticity because I feel so much like we walk around behind facades all day.  It seems often we say, "I'm fine," when really we aren't.  It seems so many issues could be easier to bear if we were honest and shared them with our friends, rather than putting on a pretty front that says we have it all together.

In fact someone said to me not to long ago, "you look so put together."
I almost fell out of my chair! It had been a long day, I was dead-tired, and certainly didn't feel "put together."

It's amazing what other people see, versus what we see, isn't it?

I've had a lot of time to think these past few weeks.

I've been sick (twice), as has my daughter, and my son also had the never-ending cold before I got it.  

I can't stand being sick; really I can't stand being anything less than 100% well.  I don't like to feel hindered.
If you don't already know, I'm a bit of a control freak by nature, so being "down and out" is just not cool!

In the meantime, though, Spring has SPRUNG in my neck of the woods.

In early March, I realized my live Christmas wreathe (well not alive anymore) was still on my front door.
When I went to take it down, I saw a nest - empty at the time - but I didn't want to move the newly built birdie home.

Good thing I didn't, because just a day or two later when I checked the nest contained 5 beautiful little blue eggs.
In a week or so, we had 5 little hatchlings! Not very attractive in my opinion, but it certainly is cute how they constantly have their mouths open for food.

And more recently, the birdies are growing, have more feathers, and are even singing in the nest each morning.  I'm pretty sure they are also learning to fly since I saw 2 birds fly away this morning when I approached the front door from inside.

And, yes, that is bird poop all over my front door!

You know, as a woman, wife, and mother, I get inspiration from other bloggers.  Some days, my spiritual cup is empty and I go read a favorite blog.  I get a real life, authentic story and scripture to go with it.

I need that!

Just like those hungry little baby birds, I think we should always be open to receiving inspiration, life lessons, and grace from other believers.

That's my hope with this blog; not that I can gain recognition but that someone might be filled by something that I share.

Not that I might be given glory, but that He would be glorified through me.

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