Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Enough is enough...

I don't pray enough
I'm not patient enough
I don't work hard enough
I'm not talented enough
I'm not kind enough (sometimes)
I'm not pretty enough
I don't smile enough
I'm not skinny enough
I'm not outgoing & friendly enough...

The list could go on and on, but it has to stop.  I have to start telling myself (and believing) that despite my faults, I am enough.
How else can I effectively parent my children?  
How can I show them how to be the person God made them to be in this fallen and faulty world that we live in? A world where nothing is ever enough? 

My head knows He created me with Divine design - that He doesn't make mistakes. My head knows there is purpose in every mistake I've ever made and every lesson I've had to learn. 
But as I often have in the past, I feel a disconnect between my heart & my head.

I want to KNOW it with every fiber of my being. To feel it spread throughout & permeate every thought and every far corner of my mind. Because THAT would help me live it and model it better to others, including my children. 

I don't want to be conceited. Bragging is not my thing. I do want the ability to maintain my outlook no matter the situation. When I'm criticized; when I don't "measure up" by someone else's standards; when I'm tempted to parent in anger or in response to embarrassment rather than with grace & love.

We live in a society that compares EVERYTHING and EVERYONE relentlessly.  It’s a world where “likes” and “shares” mean way too much! Already I can see how it affects my daughter who is only 10, and it greatly pains me!
I want her (and her brother) to know that life isn’t always fair and it isn’t always easy.  That sometimes things will happen that make it easy to be hard on ourselves. That things will happen that will be embarrassing and seem like the end of the world – but it’s not.  That things will happen that seem like things you can’t recover from – but you can.

That you can LIVE LOVED without looking down on others, but in way that makes them feel more special too.

I struggle for that balance still... know that I am a loved and treasured child of God, perfect in spite of all my imperfections.
 That's what I want my kids to know, now & in the future.

{Perhaps you've seen this story before, but I wanted to share even so.}

Recently, I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport as the daughter's departure had been announced. Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said:
"I love you and I wish you enough."
The daughter replied, "Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom." They kissed and the daughter left.
The mother walked over to the window where I sat. Standing there, I could see she wanted and needed to cry.
I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?" "Yes, I have," I replied. "Forgive me for asking but why is this a forever good-bye?"
"I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is the next trip back will be for my funeral," she said.
When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, "I wish you enough." May I ask what that means?"
She began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even more.
"When we said 'I wish you enough' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them". Then turning toward me, she shared the following, reciting it from memory,
"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye."
She then began to cry and walked away.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person. An hour to appreciate them. A day to love them. And an entire life to forget them.
- Author Unknown

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