Right now you are almost seven and still mine and Daddy’s little girl. Some days I can already glimpse what might be to come in your teen years, because you and I seriously butt heads (okay, most days J)!
I’m writing you this letter for several reasons.
First, I want you to know that all my life, all I ever wanted was to be a Mommy! Having you was the beginning of a wonderful era of my life and no matter what happens, I will always remember that feeling. Bringing you into the world, was unexpectedly difficult. And while that is a conversation for another time, I will say a few things about the day you were born. Regardless of the pain, regardless of the surgery, regardless of my decisions being taken from me, my one true prayer through the entire process was “Please, God, just bring her to my arms safely! Whatever is best for her, I will endure!” I have to tell you, hearing you cry for the first time was the sweetest sound I have ever heard in my life! One of the next sweetest moments was watching your Daddy hold you for the first time and say to you, “Why wouldn’t you come out?”
That one made me laugh too; one of the things I love most about your Dad.
Through the years, I know our relationship is going to go through changes. I have already experienced your disappointment in me, your genuine love for me, words that said you hated me even when I knew you didn’t mean them. I have experienced heartache on your behalf and nearly died keeping it from you so that I could be strong and help you through your pain. It is difficult to put into words the weight my heart has carried for you every day of your life. I want to spare you from every painful experience I ever had! I want to help you through life without actually doing it for you. It’s sort of like helping you with your homework! I can’t give you the answers or you will not be able to figure them out for yourself next time, but I do want to help you discover the answer.
But you know, the truth is, I wouldn’t be who I am and where I am today without making and living through my mistakes. This is one of my favorite quotes…
When you lose, don't lose the lesson. (Author Unknown)
In every experience life brings you, there is always a valuable lesson. Some of them can spare you from the pain of a repeated mistake, some of them can save you from losing something or someone important to you, some of them could in fact, save your life. Even when life seems bleak and unfair, make a practice of looking back and asking yourself, “what was I supposed to learn from this and how can it help me in the future?”
Lastly, since I don’t want this letter to go on for pages and pages, I wanted to share with you some things I wish I had known as a teenager. Some of these I knew but didn’t believe; some of them I knew, but didn’t pay much attention to; some of them I knew but didn’t really understand until much later. Most of them my Mom told me but I didn’t listen or chose not to hear (so the lesson here is listen to your Mother!).
I hope you will ponder them, treasure them, and know they come to you in the most positive and loving way. They come to you from a Mother who loves you dearly and only wants you to have the best and happiest life possible!
- God created you and you are special (Jer 1:5 Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart;)
- Realize that you are beautiful because of who you are and that is not for anyone else to decide. God created us in His image (Gen. 1:27-28)
- When you make a mistake, learn from it. Ask forgiveness for it (from the person or people you wronged as well as from God). This is as much for your benefit as for theirs. Guilt can haunt you and eat you alive, even over the smallest of transgressions. Learn, ask forgiveness, and move on!
- YOU are God’s masterpiece and you belong to Him (Eph 2:10)
- Fear does not come from God; He gives us power (2 Tim 1:7)!
- When you seek first to please God, He will bless you! This applies to so many situations!
- Trust God to guide you in all things, even in love. He has a plan for you and for your entire life. He will lead you to the one you will love forever. Wait patiently, no matter how long it takes; God’s rewards are always worth the wait!
ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, know I love you and I always will!
Check out other entries for this week at http://www.mamakatslosinit.com/