Saturday, February 12, 2011

where I've been...

Well, howdy! I didn't mean to leave for so long and it wasn't by choice! I am writing to you tonight from my brand new MAC- which I absolutely LOVE (despite the learning curve)! The situations and happenings of this past week have not been so grace-filled, I'm afraid.
You see, I am not the most patient person.  I don't like waiting.  I really don't like life's little surprises! Especially not ones like this!
Last Spring my desktop died and I had to start using my laptop full time.  The big bummer was I lost all my emails and email folders and their contents.  I have a home based business and get at least 100 emails a day from different sources.  To organize them, I either immediately delete or transfer them to another mail folder where I can reference or read later.  If you use Microsoft Outlook and know how to back it all up- where were you last year?!!? Just kidding!
Anyway, I realized it wasn't the end of the world and rebuilt as much as I could into my laptop.  So, last Friday morning, I used my laptop; it worked fine.  I shut it down the way I always do, packed it in my bag to take away with me, and off I went.  I've done this dozens of times! As it turns out, I didn't use the laptop all weekend, but Sunday night after returning home, I pulled it out and turned it on.   Nothing. My welcome screen eventually came up but never took me to the sign-in screen.  Instead, a black screen with white text came up and without even reading it, I knew "this ain't good!"
So, needless to say, I lost a lot of stuff.  I had a partial back-up from early January, but still, I lost a lot.  I learned my lesson the hard way-AGAIN! I know it's my fault, but still, I had NO warning! NONE! What the heck? How does a 4 year old, $1000 ($850 because we got it on sale) laptop DIE after 4 years?!  I kind of lost it...
Monday we started talking about getting a new computer...Tuesday the hubby took the old one to someone to look at.  Diagnosis was a bad hard drive, nothing salvageable.  Hubby wasn't feeling well either Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday...can you picture me tapping my foot and drumming my fingers on the tabletop? I mean I NEED a computer for my business.  I know that sounds terrible right? I really was trying not to give him a hard time, but my stress level was through the roof! I ended up yelling at him for "dragging his feet" and then played the "I never come first" card- ouch! That's just ugly- why do I do that?
So anyway, here I sit with a new mac AND a new printer, knowing I have a husband who spoils me (especially where electronics are concerned).  I don't deserve him! Yes, I did apologize for my words, but probably owe him much more.  He wasn't planning to spend nearly as much as he did on me... does anyone know how to grovel gracefully?

Another topic I could use some help with...grace and forgiveness.  While I was away this weekend,  I had to spend time with someone who really gets under my skin.  It's not even her actually, so much as what she did to me a few years ago.  I really try to be kind, and I really try not to hold grudges.  I know that holding offenses against people is wrong on many levels.  I also know, as I stated here, in my last post that unforgiveness can eat away at you (me, in this case).  In fact, also while I was away this weekend, a Facebook friend posted something like, "forgiving doesn't make the other person right; it makes you free."
Wow! What a thought- freedom!  I would love to forgive and forget the offenses that this person committed against me, but even after so many years, it still hurts! What makes it worse is so many other people seems to think she walks on water. I just can't figure that out...I mean some of them even witnessed what she did to me, but it's like they forgot or don't care.  Guarantee you if it had been them, they wouldn't give her the time of day now!
How do I continue to interact with her, because unfortunately I can't avoid it, and not let her and the situation have a hold over me?
What would you do?
What would grace look like in this situation (in your opinion)? I know what it should look like, I just can't reconcile the picture of grace with the picture of me.

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