Thursday, April 21, 2011

Road Race of Life?

I confess: sometimes I can get a little road rage irritated anger.  Granted, my version is flipping the bird or swearing (hey, I've got kids in the car), but MAD none-the-less.

The most annoying thing to me is when I'm obeying the posted speed (ok, ok! so maybe I'm running about 4 mph over the posted speed) and some idiot rides my bumper! You know the type, right? At first opportunity, he or she flies past me only to come screeching to a halt a few yards down the road.  A red light, a stop sign, or other required stop has totally foiled his or her plans to get where they are going and get there fast!

Regardless of exact circumstances, racing to a stop seems silly doesn't it?

And today as I read Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts,  I can't help but wonder, is this the life I'm living? Racing down the road of life, passing others by, always trying to get ahead, in the name of being first to get to the next stop? The next "to do" on my list transferred to the "to done" side?

And instantly, I know it's true.  No matter how unintentional, it's what I've done.  What I'm doing.  The realization brings guilt and shame and they are heavy...heavy and overwhelming.
How could I have done this? What have I missed? What precious moments have I wasted?

And the next thought is just as compelling, though not heavy...instead...uplifting.
This is not the life God intended for me! Not the life he intended for any of us! I'm so busy trying to "live" life, that I'm not LOVING life - not finding the JOY IN ALL!

In Ann's words (witnessing a burial),
     "and did he, the deceased, push to get through each day so he'd be first
      lunging over the finish line, life done?  Did the dashing to grab fistfuls
      of life fill his emptiness, fill the emptiness of a coffin?
      'We are merely moving shadows, and all our busy rushing
      ends in nothing (Ps 39:6)'"

And my last thought- WOW! That's a lot to think about and renders me almost wordless.

{This post was actually written the old fashioned way - pencil to paper on a recent LOOONNG car trip.  My attempt at mobile blogging was failed, so if anyone has tips for me, please share :-) }  

One Thousand Gifts/ Gratitude List {23-34}
23.) days that lack toys and require kids to use their (gasp!) imaginations!
24.) blessings that allowed us to take our kids on a 5 day trip to Disney
25.) sharing
26.) having extra
27.) a hard working Daddy and Husband
28.) that God gave us all different ways to express our love for each other
29.) my daughter saying "today was the best day- EVER!"
30.) springtime thunderstorms leaving behind GREEN
31.) birds that sing
32.) birds that hop or waddle
33.) baby boy saying "Hi, Bird!" and "Mom, say hi to the bird!"

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