A Mess in HIS Way...

I wrote an email to an acquaintance yesterday.
To ask her, how does she do it? 
Conduct a business from home as well as being a wife and mother? 

And I describe for her my mess...
My mess of a calendar; my mess of a house; the mess I make of the time I DO have; my messy office.

And what I'm really spilling* out is this: 
I AM A MESS. 

And I knew (and know now) that I have to stop doing this...
talking negatively to myself and about myself.

As much as I like to think I'm learning about grace here, I almost never extend it to myself.
For some reason, I hold myself to these insane standards.  Mistakes that are ok for other people to make are absolutely NOT ok for me to make.

And today, I had an interesting conversation about personality traits.  The comment was made that ALL that we have, we have for good reason.  God intends for us to have it and He intends to use it for good.  We can even take something not so good about ourselves, and turn it into something good - something that works for His glory.

I believe that - I really do.

I think where I have always gotten hung up before is in my analysis: are nature and nurture the same when it comes to traits we need to keep and use?
I spent so much time trying to find out how I developed certain qualities that it never once occurred to me that it didn't matter how or why I had them. 
It simply matters that I do.
And it matters that I use all the parts that make up me to work for Him.

I realized today that I'm getting in His way.

I have to figure out how to let Him work through me (and in me) without getting in the way.

Lord, please help make this mess into something good for you.  You know I have no idea where to start!

*I meant to write spelling,  but I when I read my typo I laughed because it was more appropriate.